Dr. Rob’s suggested read: Eat, Pray, Love

This month Dr. Rob has a great suggested read Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert – click here to purchase from Amazon.com. Below is a reader’s review:

“I found this book to be an altering and personally impacting book. It seems amazing the things
that God puts in your life to help you through a specific trial. It may have been coincidental, but
I needed to read this book at this point in my life.”

All of our CNY Fertility Center Support Groups will take some time to talk about this book this month. If you have the opportunity we encourage you to pick up a copy. Support group dates and times for all three CNY Fertility Centers are below:

Syracuse CNY Fertility Center
Tuesday, May 19th, 6PM

Latham CNY Fertility Center
Tuesday, May 12th, 7PM

Rochester CNY Fertilty Center
Tuesday, May 12th, 7PM

Video: Dr. Rob’s Intention, April 29, 2009, Cornerstone

Dr. Rob takes a few moments to share some positive thoughts from the Operating Room side of CNY Fertility Center in Syracuse, NY. Kari and Brenda, two of the wonderful nurses at CNY Fertility, join him and they all wish everyone a spectacular day. Dr. Rob creates a daily intention each day of the work week and then follows it with a video. You can read all past daily intentions here, and also see other videos on his YouTube channel DrRobLive. Enjoy The Cornerstone below

Dr. Rob’s Love & Infertility Workshops, what’s in it for you?

CNY Fertility Center and Dr. Rob Kiltz have been sponsoring the Love & Infertility Workshops over the past year in all three center locations: Syracuse, Albany and Rochester, NY. Kristen Magnacca is the main presenter and Dr. Rob, as well as Kristen’s husband Mark Magnacca, join her at times during the workshop series. Below Kristen writes about why she presents these workshops and explains how they can help you regain control of your life.

NOTE: We still have room available at all three upcoming National Infertility Awareness Week Seminars with Dr. Rob and Kristen. Click here for time, date and details.

I remember when my husband and I were in the “fog” of our fertility treatments and how I felt so disconnected from other people.  Trying to bury the burden of our fertility challenges just furthered my isolation.  My coping strategy was to push the despair so far down that it was completely buried. Except when it bubbled up, often at a time that was not of my choosing.

Back then I did not attend workshops, support groups or attend orientations. Rather, I was a stalker who read about what took place through newsletters or by asking women I knew who did attend what they found helpful.  This was my approach to get the information without being fully engaged mentally. Read more

Honey Do List

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Love on the Rocks

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CNY Healing Arts Center Events in April

Classes offered:

We continue to have a full schedule of classes offered at all of our CNY Healing Arts Centers ranging from Basic Yoga, Yoga for fertility, Kripalu Yoga, Prenatal Yoga to Belly Dancing. Check out our calendar for the full line-up.

Syracuse CNY Healing Arts Center:

Take Time Out with Dr. Rob
Mondays, 12:15-1:00PM
During the month of April, Dr. Rob will be holding an informal class each Monday in the Yoga room at our CNY Healing Arts Center. He will offer a 45 minute get together to “take time out”. We will meditate, share positive thoughts and do some light stretching. Please feel free to bring a bag lunch. All are welcome and this is a complementary service.
*Please RSVP by calling CNY Healing Arts at 315.671.5755, space is limited.

Footsie Tootsie Party & Essential Oils Workshop
Saturday, April 11th, 2009, 1:30-4:00PM
Join us for an afternoon of reflexology. We will be using essential oil’s to show you how to balance your hormone’s, calm your nerve’s, focus, and enhance your health. We will also include some breath work. This workshop is a complementary service of CNY Healing Arts and Dr. Rob Kiltz. It will be presented by Michele Gardner & Bonita Shear CFR.
*Please RSVP by calling CNY Healing Arts at 315.671.5755, space is limited.

National Infertility Awareness Week Seminar
Friday, May 1st, 2009, 12:30-2:00PM
Join Dr. Rob in the Yoga Room of our CNY Healing Arts Center. He is offering this free seminar to provide information, support and tools in coping with infertility during this National Infertility Awareness Week. Kristen Magnacca will be presenting with him, she is the author of the book Love & Infertility.
*Please RSVP to Chris Briel via email cbriel@cnyfertility.com

Classes:
Yoga for Fertility with Cynthia
Tuesdays, 5:30-7:00PM
Yoga for Fertility uses specific yoga practices to help stimulate and tone the reproductive system. Yoga also enhances the flow of energy and circulation through the body. Another incredible benefit of yoga is that it helps reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. In a recent Harvard-based study, women participating in a yoga and relaxation program nearly tripled their chances of achieving pregnancy.
*Please register by calling CNY Healing Arts at 315.671.5755, space is limited.

Albany CNY Healing Arts Center:

National Infertility Awareness Week Seminar
Thursday, April 30th, 2009, 12:00-2:00PM
Join Dr. Rob in the Reception Area of CNY Fertility Center. He is offering this free seminar to provide information, support and tools in coping with infertility during this National Infertility Awareness Week. Kristen Magnacca will be presenting with him, she is the author of the book Love & Infertility.
*Please RSVP to Chris Briel via email cbriel@cnyfertility.com

Yoga for Fertility Class with Linda Hill
Thursdays, 6:00-7:00PM
Yoga for Fertility uses specific yoga practices to help stimulate and tone the reproductive system. Yoga also enhances the flow of energy and circulation through the body. Yoga helps regulate the body’s hormone levels by improving endocrine (glandular) function. Another incredible benefit of yoga is that it helps reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. In a recent Harvard-based study, women participating in a yoga and relaxation program nearly tripled their chances of achieving pregnancy.
*Please register by emailing Cheryl at canderson@cnyhealingarts.com

Rochester CNY Healing Arts Center:

Couples Yoga
Friday, April 17th, 2009, 7:00-8:15PM
In this Yoga Class couples will experience asana’s (postures) and pranayama (breathwork) that will help relieve stress and tension. Couples will unwind and de-stress while bonding with each other. This will be the perfect “Friday night out” after a busy week. Class will be taught by Christa Tyson, RYT. Please wear comfortable clothing. Fee: $35/couple
Please RSVP to rochregister@cnyhealingarts.com

Fertile Foods with Kathryn Flynn
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009, 5:30PM
Join fertility foods expert Kathryn Flynn for an evening of taste testing for the fertility diet. You will learn about fertility enhancing alternatives, taste delicious fertility friendly snacks & meals, learn what to eat and what to leave out and receive recipes for menu planning at home. Come with an empty stomach! Registration is necessary! Fee: $40 per person.
Please RSVP to rochregister@cnyhealingarts.com

Girl’s Night Out presented by: Heather Smith & Erin McCollough
Thursday, April 30th, 2009, 7:00PM (please arrive 15 min. early)
Invite your family and friends for an evening of relaxing and renewing with the girls. Instead of a coffee date, schedule your next gathering with the girls, Heather and Erin. You will receive your choice of acupuncture, massage, aromatherapy or a combination of all three! Come share in Community, Health and the Power of Women getting together to heal. Light refreshments, wine and tea will be served. All are welcome – this is not a fertility based workshop. Fee: $30 per person (please note change in cost)
Please RSVP to rochregister@cnyhealingarts.com

National Infertility Awareness Week Seminar
Saturday, May 2nd, 2009, 1:00-3:00PM
Join Dr. Rob in the Reception Area of CNY Fertility Center. He is offering this free seminar to provide information, support and tools in coping with infertility during this National Infertility Awareness Week. Kristen Magnacca will be presenting with him, she is the author of the book Love & Infertility.
*Please RSVP to Chris Briel via email cbriel@cnyfertility.com

Yoga for Fertility with Erin McCollough, LMT, RYT
Wednesdays 6:30-7:30PM
This yoga class is designed to meet the needs of women who are trying to conceive. Participants will learn yoga asana (postures) and breathing techniques that calm the body, nourish the reproductive organs and release anxiety and stress. This class is a community place of healing and a sanctuary from the roller-coaster world of fertility treatments. All levels welcome. No yoga experience required!
*Registration is necessary so please email rochregister@cnyhealingarts.com

Fertile Friendships and Support

“I’m so proud of the four of us. We’ve come so far, and made it through so much. In the process we’ve gained amazing friendships as well as motherhood – the latter we weren’t sure would ever materialize,” explains Kasha.

Kasha, Penny, Beth and Kelly met at a Circle of Hope support group meeting while undergoing fertility treatments at CNY Fertility Center. They and their husbands were dealing with the roller coaster of infertility, and felt that a support group might help them cope during the process.

“I’d been through three miscarriages. I went to the support group because I felt I was ready for a padded room. I literally could not cope, I couldn’t deal day-to-day. Some days just getting out of bed took everything I had,” recalls Beth. “I needed to be around people who knew what I was going through and could support me. People who haven’t experienced infertility, or in my case multiple miscarriages, don’t understand the overwhelming power those experiences have. They say things like ‘There will be more babies’ or ‘Just relax and you’ll get pregnant.’ They don’t truly GET all the emotional, psychological and physical issues involved – and they don’t have to deal with them every day.”

“I had just been through a failed IVF cycle and I needed support. I came to the meeting and bawled my eyes out. Just listening to other people’s stories was so validating. I felt like I wasn’t alone – that other people had these same feelings, questions, anger, and hope,” said Kelly.

Penny remembered, “We had been trying for a year before we came to see Dr. Kiltz, and it took us another year and a half before we did get pregnant. When I came to the support group I felt like I had nowhere else to turn. It felt like I was never going to be a mother. We had done all the right things. We had good jobs, we had a stable, loving marriage – but this one thing, parenthood, seemed like this insurmountable obstacle that we had no control over. The support group was somewhere I could go to make a connection with other people; a place to get tips and information. They created a feeling of solidarity – we were all in this battle together.”

“During our first meeting, the four of us were sitting next to one another and began talking about where we were in our cycles, infertility factors, protocols, and so on. I think I knew that I had met some pretty amazing women – and they proved to be just that. We exchanged e-mails and phone numbers. We updated each other through our cycles as we got to know one another,” Kasha recollects.

“These four were the women that I e-mailed with a negative pregnancy test, or when I got past a milestone. They knew what to say because they were living through it, too. There was no explaining what needed to be done, no judgment, no feelings of anything but acceptance and understanding. They really got me through so much,” says Beth, “These women knew me better in some ways than anyone else in my life.”

“I was completely adrift until I met people who were going through the same thing. I didn’t want to open up to anyone I knew about what was going on because they just didn’t get it. I couldn’t handle people saying things that were insensitive or hurtful, whether intentionally or not. It was the only time I felt like I could talk about my feelings and actually feel better,” explains Penny, “I had been online and read so many stories about women who never got pregnant, and it was so depressing. Going to the support group gave me hope because I saw other couples in the group having success and getting pregnant. I needed positive news to keep me strong while I continued on withtreatment.”

“We did have our highs and lows even with the support of one another, but knowing you had a cushion of strength behind you made them easier to deal with. At one point while I was getting ready for a frozen embryo transfer, I was feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated that I called Dr. Kiltz and told him I was stopping my medications. He told me that I needed to do what felt right for me at the time, and that we could always do the frozen embryo transfer cycle later – when I was ready,” said Kelly. “It seemed getting pregnant was the one obstacle that could not be overcome by simply working harder,trying harder, or praying harder, it just was not happening for us.”

“Penny was the first with a positive pregnancy test, and I just remember feeling so much hope and excitement for her,” said Kelly. “It was like one down, three to go! Which is pretty much how it went. I received my positive test later that month, then Kasha and then Beth. Penny was pregnant with triplets, Beth and I were both pregnant with twins, and Kasha was pregnant with one baby.”

“We went through our pregnancies together; we e-mailed and visited. It was an amazing experience because we had a great network of support during that time as well. Once the babies were born, we exchanged clothes, tips, and information about what to expect from our new little miracles,” said Kelly.

Beth happily says, “Now we get together between naps and feedings, and even our husbands have become friends as a result of our bond. It’s a really great story because we all had such hardship in getting pregnant. In the end, we really succeeded – with a little help from one another.”

–All four women agreed that the support group made all the difference in their journey through infertility to parenthood. Joining the Circle of Hope Support Group is free, and meetings are held monthly at all three of our CNY Fertility Center locations (Syracuse, Latham and Rochester). For more information about the support group or to ask questions, click here.

Disclosure and the Use of Donor Gametes

When considering the use of donor gametes, it is important to think about and to discuss the full scope of how this decision will effect all those involved, especially the child(ren) being created. Establishing a dialogue and discussing these issues in advance is essential.

Children conceived using donor gametes (sperm or eggs) are genetically related to the egg or sperm donor. Gamete donors relinquish their parental rights to all subsequent embryos or children created using the donated gametes. Listed are some questions you may want to discuss.

1. If you won’t be the genetic parent of the child, will that affect how you feel about yourself or the resulting child?

This is a complicated issue to think about and discuss with your partner. The importance of genetic heritage is different for everyone.

2. Who, if anyone, should we tell?

A psychologist shared with us at a recent conference that non-disclosure to your child might mean non-disclosure to everyone. Many patients, who told family or friends of their
plans to use donor gametes, later regretted that decision if they were not planning to tell the child.

3. What about medical issues? What do or don’t you tell the pediatrician/doctor?

Some patients have taken on the medical background of the donor (if available) to create a more accurate picture of the child’s genetic background. Modern technology is moving further toward genetic testing, and at some point a medical question may bring up the need to disclose the truth about the child’s genetic parentage.

Although ultimately the sole decision is the parents’, there has been a trend by psychologists and other professionals encouraging disclosure and openness. To date the closest model to guide us on this topic is that of adopted children. Studies have shown that children who are informed of their adoption early in life, at an age where they can understand the concept, are usually are not adversely affected by the knowledge of their adoption.

The ethics committee for ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine) has stated that disclosing the use of donor gametes, and available nonidentifying characteristics, may be in the best interests of the
child(ren). Studies have shown that it is best to introduce this information earlier rather than later in a child’s life so that they can assimilate the information over time. Studies have suggested that disclosure of this information later in life may be disruptive to the child.

For more information about oocyte or sperm donation or disclosure you may contact CNY Fertility Center by phone at 800.539.9870, or email Pati Breh, one of our Egg Donor Coordinators at pbreh@cnyfertility.com or explore the resources listed below.

www.asrm.org/Media/Ethics/informing_offspring_donation.pdf
www.theafa.org

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April Support Group Meetings at CNY Fertility Centers

This month all three of our Centers will hold Support Group Meetings. Below are the dates and times for our April Support Meetings at CNY Fertility Center. We hope you can attend and look forward to seeing you.

Albany Circle of Hope Group Dinner
Saturday, April 4th, 2009, 7:00-9:00PM:

A member of our Circle of Hope Support group generously extended an invitation for a potluck dinner
at her home. Anyone on a fertility journey is welcome to attend.
RSVP to patricia_pollay@cargill.com or by phone at 518-598-8405

Albany Guest Speaker for Circle of Hope Group Meeting
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009, 6:00-7:30PM
We will meet in the CNY Fertility Center Reception Area, 38A Old Sparrowbush Road Latham, NY 12110

Meg Sullivan, MA LMSW will be the guest Inspirational speaker for this month’s support meeting.
Meg Sullivan, a licensed social worker with 20 years of clinical experience has developed a unique fusion
of ancient and modern therapies that assists you along your journey from healing to bliss. She blends the
best of these worlds: Mind, Body and Spirit.
Please RSVP to Stacey Dicerbo via email at sdicerbo@cnyfertility.com

Rochester Circle of Hope Group Meeting
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009, 7:00-8:00 pm
We will meet in the CNY Fertility Center Reception Area, 2244 East Avenue, Rochester, NY, 14610

Circle of Hope is a peer support group for current and former patients of CNY Fertility Center. This group can help provide support from others going through the same experiences, the opportunity to ask questions, discuss how best to cope with the emotional aspects of infertility, and to learn about different paths to parenthood.
Please RSVP to rochregister@cnyhealingarts.com

Syracuse PCOS & Circle of Hope Group Meeting
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 6:00-7:30PM
We will meet in the CNY Fertility Center Reception Area, 195 Intrepid Lane, Syracuse, NY 13205

Come join us this month at our combined PCOS and Circle of Hope support meeting. Coping with infertility is a difficult experience, and it is important to understand that you are not alone. This month Dr. Kiltz will be joining us and we will take some time to relax, share with one another and discuss any topics of importance that arise during our time together.
Please RSVP to Meg Marnell via email mmarnell@cnyfertility.com