Video: Breaking Ground, CNY Fertility Center
Dr. Rob Kiltz created the short video below in celebration of breaking ground on the CNY Fertility Center, Syracuse, NY expansion project. Exciting and new things are on the horizon, the project should take from 6 months to a year to finish.
April’s journey to fertility: Week ten
April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week 10: Well-timed reminders
For each article, I make it a point to wait for whatever may serve as my weekly writing inspiration to reveal itself. By now, you know that I have control issues so waiting to be inspired can make me a bit nervous. In fact, I would actually prefer to write several articles at once and send them into our web designer in batches because I like to plan and work ahead of schedule. However, I am exceptionally grateful I waited for this week’s inspirations to surface.
I had two encouraging experiences this week. First, I broke a treasured wine glass on Friday afternoon. It was one of a pair we received as a favor at our close friends’ wedding, and I was so upset to have broken the sentimental glass, especially since I love wedding favors that we can use again because they prompt us to remember the fun event and (hopefully) happy couple. On Saturday night we attended a wedding, and do you know what the favors were? Wine glasses – beautiful, painted wine glasses! At our last meeting with Dr. Rob, he said that the universe will give you what you ask for and oftentimes something even better. The wine glasses were definitely a well-timed reminder of the universe/God’s ability to honor our wishes. To further prove Dr. Rob’s point, we ended up leaving with four wine glasses instead of two. We had a mini set by the time we left because two people at the table saw how excited I was and then gave theirs to me. What a fun little blessing! Although I may not be pregnant this month, I am certainly going to be one day – I just know it.
Secondly, I was skimming through our local publication of The Breast Cancer Coalition. Honestly, this magazine was not even addressed to me, but to the previous resident. I read through it anyway because my friend’s mother had breast cancer, and I thought I might learn about current research and/or our local awareness efforts. Interestingly enough, I found a poem titled “You Are Me” by Thich Nhat Hanh. I remember thinking that I had heard of him before and knew that he was somehow linked to Buddhism and Zen teachings. I decided that God was giving me this poem because I needed to read one poignant line: “You cultivate the flower in yourself so that I will be beautiful.”
Ladies, this is what we are doing! We are cultivating ourselves so that our babies will be beautiful. Think of all of the hard work we have already committed to in order to make this journey fruitful. Whether you have made use of Western and/or Eastern approaches, IUIs or IVFs, eliminated foods from your diet or added herbal remedies, you are taking positive steps toward cultivating your body so that it becomes a fertile and nourishing ground for pregnancy.
I often think that since we have been taking a break from the Western fertility methods we are not undergoing any fertility treatment, but that is not the case at all. I could easily generate a list of several actions we are taking to increase fertility and need to consistently recognize our efforts. Therefore, I would encourage you to take a few moments this week to actually write down what you are doing that is helping to nurture and develop your fertility. You may be surprised at just how much cultivating you are already doing!
Fruitful Blessings,
April all Year
Below are links to April’s past articles in case you missed any of them:
Week five: The right path for us
Week four: Our fertility treatment “break”
Week three: Deliberate choices
Words of Support and Encouragement Week of July 27, 2009
July 27, 2009 by Lisa Stack
Filed under news
Last week we enjoyed a wonderful, and encouraging support group session here at CNY Fertility Center in Syracuse, NY. Dr. Rob spoke of truth, happiness, and letting things go. We also focused on some meditation and release techniques that I would like to share with you today.
During each support group session we typically see moments of joy, accompanied with deep sadness. This week brought the celebration and embrace of fresh beginnings, positive thinking, and overall happiness, while we simultaneously mourned the losses some of our peers have had. Unfortunately the ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ are natural, and sometimes it seems that some of us have been experiencing more ‘downs’ lately.
To cope with these down moments of sadness, anger, and anxiety here are two tools that I have found incredibly helpful in my own practice:
I forgive you.
Sometimes we find that our mind races with negative thoughts about ourselves. Things we should have done, things we shouldn’t have done. We find ways to blame ourselves for so many things we cannot control, that it becomes a negative cloud that constantly follows us. Often, the repetitive nature of these thoughts can feel suffocating, and exhausting. For the exercise, place yourself in a comfortable position in a quiet area suitable for meditation. Close your eyes and begin to breathe slowly and deeply. On the exhale, say the words ‘I forgive you’ or ‘I forgive myself’, whichever suits you best. You are literally releasing yourself from the accountability and blame of all of those events you couldn’t control. Play around with the tempo and the tone of the mantra, and feel that cloud drift away.
Out.
This may be my favorite mantra. Similar to the first activity, place yourself in a meditative position. Begin to breathe slowly and deeply. This time, on the exhale say the word ‘out’. Try it slowly enunciating each letter, then try it a little faster, and to the point. You will find a tempo that works for you. Each time you hit the ‘t’ in ‘out’ feel your tongue physically push away the sad and negative feelings you have. Allow the word to cleanse your anxiety and sadness for you. You will begin to feel physically, and emotionally lighter as you continue this exercise.
You may practice these for as long as you need, but I suggest placing 5 minutes aside at least for each exercise.
Be good to yourself,
Lisa
LStack@cnyfertility.com
315-744-8073
Fertility Journey Short Film Competition
July 22, 2009 by Lareina Foster
Filed under news
Calling all aspiring film makers – share your fertility journey in Fertility LifeLines™ and RESOLVE’s In The Know Short Film Competition. Submission deadline is August 1st 2009. Click here for more information.
April’s journey to fertility: Week nine
April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week Nine: Summertime
Some of us thrive when we have our daily routine in place. I am usually one of those people, but summer always makes me less likely to follow my routine and more likely to impulsively enjoy the simple pleasures of the season. I tend to be less focused on what comes next (laundry, making dinner, grading papers) and more focused on what I can do at the present moment (shopping at a nearby vegetable stand, having lunch with a friend). I have recently realized that I am tired of planning my life. I feel as though I am always waiting for the next something and missing too many opportunities along the way. As we approach mid-summer, I realize that I need to enjoy the spontaneity of the season a bit more.
For example, I love dining al fresco and reading on my deck so I am going to do both of those as often as possible during these next several weeks. Taking the dog for long walks is much easier when the daylight spills well into the evening, and I am not distracted by any of the fall televisions shows which too often restrict my activities. (I realize the fact that Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy have such an impact on my life is downright pitiful, but what can I say?) Therefore, my Jack Russell Terrier and I will both look forward to frequent leisurely strolls around the neighborhood. In fact, we will both enjoy the neighbors, too. Going around the block is much like an impromptu social activity since we neighbors are all out tending to our gardens and/or pets at approximately the same time each evening.
You may wonder what all of this has to do with my journey to fertility. Simply stated, I am far less likely to focus on my fertility challenges when I am engaged in what I am doing at the present moment. Of course, we cannot disregard all responsibilities, but don’t we owe it to ourselves to enjoy what is happening right now? Can’t that last load of laundry wait if you want to take a moment to chat on the phone with a friend or eat a bowl of ice cream as you sit on your front porch? Open yourself up to the possibilities of this relaxing time of year. Work a little less and enjoy (whatever your heart desires) a little more.
Relaxing wishes,
April all Year
Below are links to April’s past articles in case you missed any of them:
Week five: The right path for us
Week four: Our fertility treatment “break”
Week three: Deliberate choices
Why join a support group?
July 21, 2009 by Lisa Stack
Filed under news
I remember being nervous the first time I attended a support group. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to share my story, and I didn’t feel comfortable speaking about such a personal topic in front of total strangers. I finally attended and was completely surprised. I found that the benefit of a support group is not necessarily the counseling aspect, but the community. It was amazing to see a group of people with the same problems that I had. For so long I felt alone, and that no one could possibly understand what I was experiencing. I was wrong, here was a group of people that knew exactly what I was feeling, and enduring. It is also great to bring your spouse, if you feel they don’t completely understand how difficult this time may be for you. It could help them to hear others speak and use the same language as you do, to describe their worry.
Even if you never speak during a support group session, just come to listen. You may be pleasantly surprised by the similarities in your stories.
Here is a link to The Benefits of Support Groups from Resolve.org : http://www.resolve.org/site/PageServer?pagename=cop_arsg_bene
Check the calendar section of www.cnyhealingarts.com for updated meeting times and locations.
Hope to see you soon,
Lisa
Lisa Stack
Lstack@cnyfertility.com
315-744-8073
The Four Agreements
July 20, 2009 by Dr. Rob
Filed under Uncategorized
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. It can be purchased at Amazon.com here
Amazon.com Review
Sit at the foot of a native elder and listen as great wisdom of days long past is passed down. In The Four Agreements shamanic teacher and healer Don Miguel Ruiz exposes self-limiting beliefs and presents a simple yet effective code of personal conduct learned from his Toltec ancestors. Full of grace and simple truth, this handsomely designed book makes a lovely gift for anyone making an elementary change in life, and it reads in a voice that you would expect from an indigenous shaman. The four agreements are these: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. It’s the how and why one should do these things that make The Four Agreements worth reading and remembering.
Words of Support and Encouragement Week of July 20, 2009
July 20, 2009 by Lisa Stack
Filed under news
Today is our Syracuse office Circle of Hope Meeting, and we will be discussing many topics, including The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. If you are in the area, stop by for some great conversation and advice from Dr. Rob. This week’s quote is also from The Alchemist:
‘Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.’
Think of when you are younger, you typically knew exactly what you wanted and what made you happy. It didn’t matter if it was conventional, or the right thing to do, it is just what worked for you at the moment. That is what your Personal Legend was, what you were supposed to do, and what worked. Now, as we get older we tend to change our Personal Legends to fit what we think they should be. ‘I need this particular job, with this particular spouse, and two kids, a boy and a girl’. This may make society happy, but it may not be what you want. It is important to really boil down what your most basic needs and desires are. What ‘must’ your family be composed of? Do you ‘need’ children to be happy? Do they have to be biologically yours? Do you need to have them by a certain age? These are all very difficult, but very important questions to ask yourself because you will eventually have a small set of rules or conditions that outline your Personal Legend, or your dream. Once you have these particular guidelines figured out, it is a lot easier to work towards them. Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks, or wants. This is your life, your dream, and your family. Imagine yourself as a child, and just picture what would make you the happiest, at this moment.
Be good to yourself,
Lisa Stack
Lstack@cnyfertility.com
315-744-8073
April’s journey to fertility: Week eight
April is a CNY Fertility Center patient and has been on her journey to fertility for approximately two years. April will share candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face.
Week Eight: Resiliency
According to Webster’s online dictionary, the definition of resiliency is the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Lately, I feel as though I have lost a bit of my resiliency. However, I do not lack the ability to adjust to change, but I do lack the ability to adjust to the misfortune of not yet conceiving. In fact, I would not call my struggle with fertility misfortunate; I would call it downright unfair and heart-wrenching. I cannot tell you how deeply saddened I was this weekend when I attended a party with many other couples my age who all either had children or were expecting a child within the next several weeks. I remember watching the children interact with their parents and feeling excluded, not because anyone was ignoring me but because everyone was a part of something I was not: parenthood. At one point I was even choking back tears.
I may be more emotional than usual because I began a new cycle last week. One of the most difficult challenges for me is the fact that no matter how I picture my positive pregnancy test experience, it just does not happen. I could explain to you the myriad of scenarios I have created in my head regarding when I will become pregnant, (right after my laparoscopy, right before my HSG, after my first round of hormone treatments and IUI, right before my next fertility specialist appointment, etc.). Instead, I have to simply wait and try to be patient. Thus, the question becomes how will I maintain my resiliency when I am disappointed and saddened? How do any of us maintain resiliency when we are on our journey to fertility?
We actually discussed this at last week’s Yoga for Fertility Class. (Yes, my negative attitude may have prompted the discussion!) For me, “bouncing back” is a matter of finding what will make me happy, even if only temporarily. My list of possibilities includes the following:
- Listening to upbeat music
- Getting a pedicure
- Having a glass of wine
- Having a cup of coffee
- Going to Yoga
- Watching a sad movie because sometimes crying does make me feel better
- Watching a funny movie because sometimes I need to laugh
- Talking to someone else who is either experiencing the same challenge or has experienced it
- Doing something fun and different (new restaurant, couples yoga class)
- Writing the day’s gratitude list because I may not be a parent yet, but there are many other prosperous areas in my life
This upcoming week, my intention is for you to consider what should be in your “bag of tricks” so that when you do become upset or overwhelmed, you have a list of possible distractions/activities that can serve as your personal pick-me-ups.
Miracles & Blessings,
April all Year
Below are links to April’s past articles in case you missed any of them:
Week five: The right path for us
Week four: Our fertility treatment “break”
Week three: Deliberate choices
Words of Support and Encouragement Week of July 13, 2009
July 13, 2009 by Lisa Stack
Filed under news
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and that you are well rested! This week again I am gathering inspiration from The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. The Alchemist is a beautiful and inspiring piece of literature, and we will be drawing upon a few of its lessons this week, and next week at our CNY Fertility Circle of Hope Support Group Sessions.
“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
When we think and act positively, we begin to affect everything around us. If you continue to meditate and use self-affirmations you will begin to notice your positive energy and spirit will gradually travel and touch each aspect of your life. Whether it is the law of attraction, or just that our new outlook on life has prepared us to accept and embrace the many changes we experience, we may never know. However, once we change our thinking to become the best version of ourselves, the many other facets of our lives follow suit and are attracted to this positive light.
Staying positive may take some practice, but you will see results during the journey. I suggest you begin by reading The Alchemist, and visiting CNY Healing Arts for some restorative yoga.
Good luck in your journey,
Lisa Stack
LStack@cnyfertility.com
315-744-8073
Click here for dates and times of July Support Meetings, come join us!!
