Cheyanne & Alan

Cheyanne & Alan's Story:

At the tender age of 18 years old just graduating high school class of 2013 I heard something no young woman just figuring out life should hear. July 1st 2013 I had severe pain in my lower abdomen, severe pain in my back. I went to the emergency room here in Pittsburgh and had 2 ovarian cysts and a polyp. I was told to follow up in 1 month which I did. I went in exactly one month after my visit, August 1st 2013 my change the course of my adulthood. I sat in my follow up expecting to hear I am fine and the small cyst were gone. Little did I know it would not go to plan. My mom drove me to my appointment that morning I had been texting my now husband Alan. We had just met on a dating site. Not ready to have kids yet. The doctor came in, and started asking all these questions. She mentioned my history of awful periods, and said “well would you like children some day?” My heart sank... it was like everything around me was blurred, and I could hear speaking but it was fuzzy. She referred me to a Infertility Specialist. I thought I’m not even trying? I turn 19 next month? What did this mean?
I walked back to my mother’s work A few blocks from the hospital since she was driving me home. I put on a smile even though I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I always wanted kids, being a mom aside from a labor and delivery nurse was my dream! I went home and cried myself to sleep. Alan was worried unknowing what happened at my appointment. I just said I didn’t want to speak about it. How was I to tell him?
This began the journey of my infertility. Prior to my referral I had one chemical pregnancy at 17 but never thought anything about it. I was open and honest with Alan, I figured we just started dating now was the time that way we could both move on no harm, no foul.
I fully expected him to leave me, to not want to date a girl who would one day struggle with infertility. We both agreed that we wouldn’t prevent pregnancy. I got pregnant almost 5 months into our relationship sadly that too ended in a chemical pregnancy. We felt devastated almost 2 years to the date of my first miscarriage.
That winter my appointment I made in the summer came on to see the Fertility specialist. I was judged for my young age and told I was fine and that it was probably just endometriosis . I did a laparoscopy in September 2014. No Endo! Just a some cysts and polyps nothing major. I was happy it wasn’t endometriosis but disappointment we had no clue why my cycles were awful, and why at 20 I hadn’t conceived. I mean I come from a very fertile family. Why isn’t it so easy for me? I didn’t get pregnant again for 1 year and a half. It was 6 days before my 21st birthday with 3 chemical pregnancies, and no answers. I took a test September 8th and by September 10th 2015 my doctor told me I was having a chemical pregnancy. But this one hit me hard, I had just moved into our first apartment! We were newly married! Kicking butt financially! I was heart broken. We were heartbroken. I had been to two of three Fertility clinics in Pittsburgh no one had answers.... After that I went on to have one more chemical pregnancy a year to the date of my last September 10 2017. Then I got a message and was advised there was a woman who was pregnant and wanted us to adopt her baby girl who was due in Spring. The mom chose to parent her baby girl, we were sad, but happy we could help out a family in need despite the outcome. We completed our foster to adopt classes but that too led to dead ends as my therapist did not think it was a good idea if it wasn’t a sure deal that we would bring home a baby we could keep. She feared it would be too heartbreaking.
I began to go back to Fertility specialists in Fall 2017. I figured we had a home now, we were financially doing well, and I was older surely I wouldn’t be judged for my age now. I was told we had unexplained infertility and despite never getting any treatments we would be turning to IVF. It would be about 20,000 not including monitoring and medications. Though we were doing well, we couldn’t afford it. We were your average middle class family.
I couldn’t give up! I wanted to be a mommy so badly. That when I found CNY Fertility! Could this be real? Could this clinic be low cost and provide good service? I called, and booked a phone consult with Dr. Ditkoff it was October 2017 and my consult was not until January 24 ,2018! During that time I came across Embryo Donation! I joined a group on Facebook called Embryo Adoption and Donation Support Group.
Embryo donation/adoption was where two couples have left over embryos from their IVF cycles and gave them to couples struggling to conceive for many different reasons! I matched twice before my CNY consult but those didn’t work they ether chose someone closer to where there embryos were housed, or they only had 1 embryo and I thought it was to risky. Well the time came for consult. Dr. Ditkoff agreed IVF was the right way to go. At 23 it was not normal not have repeat miscarriages despite what I had been told, and to my surprise on my chart medical history, had a diagnosis of Recurrent pregnancy loss. They put all my testing I needed in the portal for IVF. At this point my husband was fed up with infertility. He was at an all time low. He refused testing, and said he wasn’t ready. He was scared. He doubted our journey. His thought was “Maybe we weren’t meant to have children after all?”
I was angry! How could he do this to me? How could he give up on our dream!? Our marriage was at a low. I gave up in February 2018. I turned off all notifications to the Embryo group including Hopeful recipients where we could be matched. I deleted our profile. Maybe he was right? Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mom....
To my surprise April 29,2018 my phone went off. I had a Facebook notification. It did Shannon Joanette posted to Perspective Donor File on the Embryo Support group. What?! How?! I turned off all notifications. Somehow it came through! I had to read it, so I read that they were a New York couple who did 13 rounds resulting in 1 pregnancy in 2013, and ended in miscarriage though she had 2 boys almost teenagers, and her husband a almost teenaged daughter. They wanted a semi open embryo adoption/donation, and had 12 embryos looking for two recipients. I wanted open but understood if they didn’t want the same. I poured my heart out to them I sent videos of us, photos. Within minutes of sending I saw Shannon typing. I figured like many other donors she would say “we will read your profile and if interested we will message you shortly” but Nope! We began talking via Facebook messenger back and fourth like old long lost friends. It was between me and an older single woman who had twins. We were to split the embryos 6 for her, 6 for us, but when Shannon told us her and her husband Joey decided to give all 12 embryos to us! I cried so hard. My husband completely scared signed the paperwork. She said they were housed in New York. I said oh really? My fertility clinic is in Syracuse. No way did we think we were both CNY Syracuse Patients but we were! This made paperwork and legal work easy! We signed papers, they did FDA Testing in June. I finished pre treatment testing That June too! Then July 3rd the day my Nonna was put on hospice that we were legally parents to 12 embryos! We transferred that fall of 2018... my transfer was the date I hated! The date I dreaded for so long. September 10th 2018... the date I had two miscarriages in years prior. I stayed hopeful my husband didn’t come to the first treatment as he couldn’t take off and nether could Shannon’s husband Joey.
Shannon and I never spoke on the phone or video chatted. That day I was a ball of nerves. I got out of the care my friend said I hadn’t walked so fast in her life time of knowing me. I opened the doors the Syracuse and was greeted by the biggest warmest hug ever. We cried, as we held each other at the doors of CNY. It was because of Shannon I was going to be a mommy no matter if it was alone or with my husband though I had hoped it was with my husband.
We laughed, and sat in silence mostly. Then I heard Cheyanne. Shannon said she’d stay in the waiting area. Never having done treatments I said no your family now just come back. I figured nothing would be exposed. Dr Kiltz came in and we began transfer one beautiful 4AA! Dr Kiltz said okay knees to chest. Well so much for no one seeing my girly goods.... All of a sudden I felt hot, very sweaty and hot. Here comes a panic attack. I felt Shannon take my hand and we did this together. I got a positive HPT 5 days after and then they started to fade. The day after my 24th birthday at work I began bleeding. I felt the worst ever by beta time everything was negative. I apologized for not only failing myself but Shannon and Joey. They said I had nothing to be sorry for and they support me in whatever step I took next.
I never stopped bleeding in fact I never got my actual period. They found a fibroid in my lining a month of baselines and no real period. I consulted with Dr. Kiltz, he asked me to come to Syracuse or Buffalo to take a look. I went to Syracuse Nov 3rd for an ultrasound. Luckily no concern of the fibroid it wasn’t big, and it wasn’t in the way. My lining was rather thick so Dr. K recommended a Hysteroscopy, and D&C. Dr. Corley did my surgery 11/8/2018 it was successful! I stayed 2hrs away at Shannon’s house for surgery and met Joey. I was so nervous but again received the biggest hug. By the end of the visit Joey told me he knew I was meant to have their embryos. They made the right choice, and he reassured me my husband Alan would come around, just have faith. They sent for testing for hyperplasia which was negative and 4 days later I started my period started baselines my lining thickened so thick and my cycle almost canceled! Dr Kiltz luckily said no cancellation necessary and tweaked me to a semi natural FET! Do K transferred 2 of the remaining 11 on Nov 27 2018 after doing Intralipids, HCG wash, and acupuncture before and after transferring! My husband also took me to my appointment for the first time! Shannon had to work but we video chatted for my appointment. Well I was at work falling asleep almost and thought so odd. Well Dec 3rd I tested and sure enough it was positive! On August 2nd we welcomed our baby girl! Olivia Eileen Horne 6lbs 1oz 19 inches long! Shannon is her God mother and her and Joey visit often! Next month the kids will meet Olivia! My husband was great during my entire pregnancy. Olivia is daddy’s little girl! And daddy loves her so much! We are excited to expand our family one more time with the remaining 9! Our marriage has been better than ever, thanks to Shannon, Joey, Dr K, CNY, and of course our little happy Olivia!

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Deanna, and Dr Kiltz really pushed my cycle to continue when my lining was super thick. They recommended acupuncture and HCG trigger shot and wash!

Helpful resources Cheyanne & Alan found:

Support groups on Facebook, journaling, your village!

Unique Moments:

The closeness with my embryo donor!

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

Don’t give up on something that you can’t go a moment without thinking about. Sometimes your relationship is tested and that’s okay! It will push through!