Sarah & Ben

Sarah & Ben's Story:

The story of what led us to CNY is a bit different than most. I knew from a very young age, maybe 5 years old, that I wanted more than anything to be a mom. I was diagnosed with pretty severe PCOS by my former OB-GYN when I was about 19 years old. He prematurely told me that it would be impossible for me to ever have children. I lived most of my adult life thinking this was my fate.

My husband & I married in 2017--we were planning on starting infertility treatments with my new OB-GYN when we returned from our honeymoon. Before we could even begin we found out we were inexplicably pregnant with our son! Our OB-GYN was shocked, but not as shocked as we were. The pregnancy wasn't easy on my body--hyperemesis gravidarum, preeclampsia--you name it, but we couldn't wait to meet the answer to our decades worth of prayers. Due to my severe preeclampsia, I had to deliver almost three weeks early. On the morning of my scheduled C-Section, my beloved Gramma passed away; five hours later our beautiful son came into this world healthy and gorgeous despite the peculiarity surrounding his conception and birth.

We knew we wanted more children and we knew it wasn't going to be as easy as it was the first time. We once again sought to help of our OB-GYN in November of 2018. After one round of Clomid, which did NOT agree with my body, we switched to Letrozole. It didn't seem like it was working after two rounds so I made an appointment with CNY Fertility in Syracuse. I met with Meg and we decided ovarian drilling would probably be beneficial for my particular situation. Given there was still a small chance I could have been pregnant from a Letrozole round, we didn't scheduled anything. A week later we found out we were indeed pregnant!

My first scan showed I was pregnant with twins! However excitement quickly turned to sadness. Our one twin never developed past a yolk sac and fetal pole, and our second twin was measuring significantly behind the gestational age but he did have a heartbeat. When we went to check a week later our sweet, strong baby no longer had a heartbeat. We were devastated (we are still devastated) but knew we couldn't give up. Once my body healed from the loss of our twins, we tried again. In August of 2019 I found out I was pregnant again, without any meds or intervention! We thought "this is too good to be true" and indeed it was. My HCG was rising minimally and at 6 weeks we lost another beautiful angel. We knew it was time to dig deeper into the reoccurring miscarriages and reach out to CNY again.

My husband and I each underwent significant bloodwork screenings (no genetic abnormalities Yay! but my NK cells were very elevated), I had a dye test done and then a hysteroscopy to remove an adhesion in my uterus. We began intralipid infusions, full immune protocol and Letrozole with timed intercourse the first cycle and IUI the second cycle. We are currently on our third round of Letrozole and we've now added Menopur. We are hoping our next scan shows beautiful eggs for another IUI! My progesterone has been incredibly low the past two cycles so once we are able to have the IUI done we will begin Progesterone injections to help my body along.

Every day I struggle with not giving up. Every day I struggle with the loss of our three babies. Every day I ask myself why I keep putting myself through this. Those three babies are what keep me going. The happiness I felt each time I was pregnant, no matter how short-lived, is worth every shot, every disappointment, every penny. Their lights shined so bright in our lives, we can't forget the warmth and love they created. Every day that passes is one day closer to meeting our future baby, one day closer to our son becoming the amazing big brother we know he will be. We just have to make it through one day at a time. My husband is a Marine Corps Veteran and he always reminds me of their motto "Semper Fidelis"--"Always Faithful". While it is hard to always stay faithful and hopeful through the setbacks and disappointments, I look at our son and know we are incredibly blessed, and it keeps me going.

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

As much as it pains me to pack up my two year old and drive an hour to Syracuse sometimes three times a week, every single member of the team makes it easier once we get there. No two year old wants to spend his day in a doctors office when he could be playing; sometimes he gets impatient and all the nurses and staff help make his time there more enjoyable. Not only do they keep my son sane, they help keep me sane. Everyone listens to my questions and concerns (and sometimes I have hundreds!), they've shown me how to do injections, they've listened to my story and they've encouraged me to keep moving forward. I had an appointment the day before our twins due date and I was miserable. When I told my nurse that day why I was so upset and told her my twin's story she listened, she told me I was brave and gave me the encouragement I needed to carry on when honestly I didn't feel like carrying on. All of the nurses are so sweet and gracious and reassuring. I know it cannot be easy dealing with someone as high strung and nervous as I am most days, but they do it very effortlessly. The on call clinical team is amazing as well. I've called with some pretty obscure questions and they have been so understanding. The one thing I carry with me is the care and positivity Meg showed me at my first appointment. She ended our time together by saying "you've gotten pregnant before and I know you can do it again" I needed to hear that so desperately. I hold on to that statement.