Ashley & Dave

Ashley & Dave's Story:

When we fell in love, the desire to have a baby together was instinctual. We both came into the relationship with children from previous marriages, but when Dave told me that making me a mother again would be the greatest joy of his life, a new dream was born.

I told myself in the beginning that if it happens, great, and if not, then I guess it wasn’t meant to be, but I was lying to myself!

After six months of trying without success, Dave sought out testing. His first experience with a urologist (not at CNY) was nothing short of a fiasco--the doctor recommended a possible testicle and kidney removal suggested on the same day!

We spent months going on doctor visits and testing and thought we discovered below-average sperm count. But after seeking a second opinion from a fertility specialist we found that his semen analysis was normal.

By this time, we had been trying for a year, so it was my turn to be tested. Bloodwork, Ultrasounds, and an HSG did not explain our lack of success.

We made our phone consultation appointment with CNY in August of 2021, but it wasn’t until December 17th. So began working with a different fertility clinic, but my intuition told me to keep our consultation appointment with CNY.

We attempted a few failed timed and medicated cycles with crushing results.

At the first fertility clinic (not CNY), our bloodwork and testing weren’t done in-house, so we had the burden of trying to find those facilities and get it done in the small operating windows they offered. We never knew what was next. We felt disappointed, lost, and unheard.

We had our consultation with CNY, and within a week and a half, we were in the Rochester office making plans for IVF.

Our interactions with the CNY staff were night and day compared to our previous fertility clinic experience. Despite the large volume of patients, we felt valued and heard.

We had our retrieval on February 4, 2022, resulting in three Day 3 embryos. I will never forget first seeing the embryo report photos of our three hopefuls. There was now something in the world that was half me and half Dave. We had made it further than ever before, and we were optimistically cautious about what was to come. Unfortunately, our first FET failed.

On March 30th, 2022, we had our second transfer. By the time Beta Day rolled around, I was convinced that we had another failed cycle. I spent the day tearfully planning for defeat. When the nurse called in the afternoon of April 11, 2022, to say my HCG level was 257 and that we were pregnant, I was in utter disbelief!

After a difficult pregnancy that also included daily injections and then a weeklong hospital stay due to preeclampsia with severe features, we welcomed our baby boy, Henry, at 34 weeks one day on November 7, 2022.

He spent 22 days in the NICU before he came home. He’s approaching six months now and is thriving. I am in complete awe of him every day, and I can not believe he’s really here. We have CNY to thank and we will forever be so grateful for our journey.

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Ashleigh Rausch, PA was amazing. Not only was she thorough with treatment plans and protocols, but she was there for us during some of our most vulnerable moments. She always made me feel so supported and safe.

Helpful resources Ashley & Dave found:

I listened to infertility podcasts, especially during the hour long drives to and from my appointments.

My favorite is Infertile AF. Not only did I learn a whole lot by listening to the experiences of many different guests, it made me feel that I was part of a community and much less alone in my journey.

The Moment:

Holding our baby for the first time skin to skin brought me indescribable joy. Every shot, blood draw, test, procedure, and heartache had led to that moment. Looking at him I knew that I would do it all over again and again if it meant I got to have that moment.

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

Our most obvious advice would be choosing CNY Fertility!

In the short time spent at our old fertility clinic we felt that all the burden of treatment fell on us – logistical and emotional.

Being at CNY helped alleviate some of that. We always knew what our next steps were, and we knew that if we had questions or concerns someone would be more than happy to address them.

We also suggest seeking therapy when faced with fertility issues for both partners. Not everyone has emotional support from family and friends or even want it when faced with this.

Speaking to a therapist or counselor can help you work through feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, therefore alleviating more of the burden.