Kacie & Rich

Kacie & Rich's Story:

My husband and I met in 2010 and got engaged in 2012. Shortly after getting engaged and the beginning stages of our wedding planning, we unexpectedly got pregnant. Unfortunately we lost that baby when I was 8 weeks pregnant. After dealing with that loss, we decided we wanted to push back our wedding and try to get pregnant again. Luckily, we got pregnant 3 cycles later and in August of 2013 we had our beautiful son. We then got married in December of 2014.

Since we were in our early 20’s when we had our first son, we knew we wanted to wait a few years before having a second child. In 2017 we started building our forever home, and we decided in January of 2018 to start trying for another baby. We assumed this would be easy and happen fairly quickly since we had no issues getting pregnant two times prior. But that’s the thing with secondary infertility; it’s easy until it isn’t easy. Month after month, cycle after cycle; it just wasn’t happening for us and we were so confused. My cycle was normal; we were spending so much money on ovulation kits (which showed I was ovulating), and pregnancy tests that were always negative, and it seemed I was spending hours a day googling tips for getting pregnant.

I had my annual appointment with my OBGYN in July of 2018 and I expressed my concerns. He told me I’ve already been pregnant twice, so odds are I just need to give it a few more months and not stress about it. In October of 2018 I made another appointment with him and he agreed to do bloodwork and an ultrasound. When everything came back normal, he gave me the option of doing laparoscopy. I had that done a few days after Thanksgiving, and it was then determined that I had endometriosis and one blocked Fallopian tube. The tissue & cysts surrounded my bladder, ovaries, and tubes. He surgically excised what he could and told us that our best shot at conceiving would be the 3 cycles following the laparoscopy.

We were so hopeful, but then March of 2019 rolled around, and we were still getting negative pregnancy tests. I had a cyst rupture one morning that month, and after being on the floor in the fetal position in excruciating pain, while my 5 year old son watched, I called my OBGYN and told him we need to figure something out because now not only was this affecting me emotionally but now physically as well. He agreed to do one last thing before he referred me to an RE, which was an HSG to check my tubes once more. I went to our local hospital for the HSG on March 29th, and that day ended up being the lowest of my lows. When the pain became so severe, I knew something was wrong. The radiologist tried 4 times to clear my tubes, and apologetically told me they were both completely blocked and she didn’t want to continue trying to unblock them and cause more pain. I instantly burst into tears and mentally broke down, as I knew this meant our only option to conceive again would be through IVF.

The weeks following the HSG were emotionally hard. We didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t afford to spend $25,000-$30,000 for IVF in our area. We just built a house. We didn’t have that kind of money to spend. But if we did have that kind of money, would it be right for us to spend it to have another child? We were already blessed with a son. Was this the way it was supposed to be? Would we be going against God’s will? Of course, there are personal loans and credit cards, but would it be wrong of us to spend that kind of money to have another child when we already have a child? We want to be able to provide for him, we want to give him an amazing life. We don’t want to get in debt and struggle. Are we selfish for even considering doing IVF? Why can that couple, or that couple, or that one, conceive with no issues? Why us? Are we being punished for something? Why are we feeling sorry for ourselves when there are couples who can’t have even one child? These are the thoughts that were running through our minds. Our once easy marriage became hard, as we took our anger, frustration, and bitterness out on each other. Times were tough.

Throughout the next few months, I continued googling, researching, and connecting with women in a secondary infertility group on Facebook. It was there that I came across CNY Fertility. At first CNY seemed too far-fetched and too good to be true. I didn’t think traveling to a fertility clinic would be possible due to my husband’s work schedule and having a son in kindergarten. But I continued looking into CNY, reading the clinic’s success stories, watching Dr. K’s lives, and I joined a Facebook group of former, current, and future CNY patients. I learned so much BEFORE taking the plunge and setting up a consult. When I finally called to schedule my phone consult, I couldn’t get one until October 2019. I was impatient but willing to wait. A few weeks later, my consult ended up being pushed up to June!

After my consult, we got the ball rolling rather quickly. I got my protocol, ordered my meds, and waited for my next cycle. My cycle started July 6th, baselines were July 8th, and our IVF journey officially began. We went to Syracuse for retrieval on July 18th, had 9 eggs retrieved, 8 were mature, 5 were fertilized, and 4 beautiful embryos made it to freeze day 5. I gave my body a month to “reset,” enjoyed a relaxing vacation with my family and began preparation for my frozen embryo transfer on August 29th. We made the trip back to Syracuse on September 16th for transfer of our 4AA embryo and 2 weeks later it was confirmed our FET was a success and we were pregnant!

On May 28th, 2020, we welcomed our second son into the world, Pierson Thomas. He is healthy, perfect, and a true gift from God. We are forever grateful for Dr. Kiltz and all of the doctors, nurses, embryologists, and staff at CNY Fertility! They are angels on earth! If you’re scared, we were too. Every penny, every tear, and every single shot was worth this precious boy!

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Dr. Corley did my retrieval and he was so sweet, calm, and reassuring! Dr. Kiltz did my transfer and he is just a legend. So nice, funny, and knows his stuff! His upbeat personality is contagious! I communicated with Nurse Donna a lot and she was so supportive, thorough, and knowledgeable! But honestly everyone we came in contact with at CNY was a breath of fresh air! They’re truly rooting for your success!

Helpful resources Kacie & Rich found:

Dr. K’s live videos were so helpful before and during the journey! I learned so much just by watching his videos! Also the support group on Facebook is filled with women who just “get it.” They’re so supportive and always there to give advice and answer questions!

Unique Moments:

Secondary infertility is unique in itself. It was an everyday struggle between feeling so overwhelmingly grateful for my first son while also longing for another child. It was hard not to burst into tears every time someone said “When are you having another one?! You better not wait too much longer!” It was hard to explain to anyone what was going on, because most people automatically assume that if you had one baby, you can easily have another. Also, I ended up giving birth to our CNY miracle in the middle of a global pandemic, so that was something even more unique that I never thought would be added to our journey!

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

Infertility can be extremely lonely. Talk about it. Build an army around yourself. If you’re afraid to talk to your friends and family, join the support groups. There are hundreds of women there who understand the struggle! It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to skip that baby shower, it’s okay to take a break from social media. Think about your mental health. And don’t give up, keep fighting the good fight. “If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.”