Kayla & Josh

Kayla & Josh's Story:

Our story begins right when we got married. My husband (Josh) and I (Kayla) have been together for 14 years, and this July we will be married for 4 years. We both always talked about children but waited until marriage- my Great Uncle Nick and my husband's Great Grandma Lena were very traditional Italians, and we were blessed that they were able to witness our marriage. We decided we would start trying for a baby immediately after our wedding but looking back now, it seems like we had everything going against our plans from the start.

We went on our honeymoon to St. Lucia in 2016, which put our starting a family plans on hiatus due to the Zika Virus outbreak which could cause serious health issues during pregnancy. We didn't want to take any chances and waited until we got back home.

Once we had been home for a couple of weeks, we began trying. I was immediately discouraged by our first negative pregnancy test. We tried giving it 6 months- thinking it could have been because of being on birth control and also because that was what my OBGYN recommended.

Finally around March 2017, I made my first appointment to figure out what was going on. To make a long story short, my OBGYN started me on Metformin. They would not refer me to a fertility specialist until about a year of trying ovulation-inducing medications. I began Clomid, and when the different strengths of that failed, I completed two rounds of Femara (Letrozole) and HCG injections.

I found out that I didn't need a referral to CNY Fertility so I immediately called to make my consultation appointment; it had been about the one-year mark of trying ovulation-inducing medications.

At CNY I was given many different medication protocols. My husband and I went through two rounds of IUI before moving on to IVF. I had my first retrieval which was a difficult time for us.

We didn't get many eggs at all and although the doctors and nurses reassured us not to worry about the grading, it was definitely hard to hear and get passed that our only two embryos were considered poor.

On top of my medications/injections, I had done Intralipids, massages, and acupuncture. When both of those transfers failed, we were completely devastated. In my heart I just felt like it was finally going to happen, we were going to start our little family... but it didn't.

My husband and I decided to take a little break and regroup. I even decided to get a tattoo that symbolized our journey (unalome leading to a lotus flower). We also needed time to figure out if we could even afford another round of IVF.

I remember calling and speaking with Dr. Kiltz, and just how amazing he was. He was actually getting on his plane to meet his wife for dinner. But he took the time out of his personal time to talk me through the next steps. He just went so above and beyond, I cannot put into words how grateful we were that he took the time to help us through a really dark and depressing time in our lives.

Once we talked, he came up with a new plan, and new medication protocol for AFTER my laparoscopy/hysteroscopy procedure.

After the surgery it turned out I had endometriosis, enough of it to cause my infertility and change my diagnosis of "unexplained infertility." I was upset that it hadn't been done sooner-that I didn't know about this procedure but ironically it put me at ease. I at least now had a reason as to why I possibly couldn't get pregnant.

For our last transfer, we did the works, medicine protocol, full on Kiltz's Keto, Intralipids, acupuncture, massages, HCG wash, PRP-you name it, I did it, and I am so glad we did.

Dr. Corley did our third transfer using a frozen embryo (FET).

Not to get too graphic but I will never forget when Dr. Corley was administering the transfer and said something along the lines of "you know what, I am just going to move this further (the catheter), and make sure it is really in there!"

I don't know why, but at that moment, I just felt it. and thought "this is it, this is going to work."

Then he asked to pray with us. We just felt so different when we went home that day.

I got the call of my blood work to determine if I was pregnant or not while I was at work. The tone of the nurse's voice was different from the other times. When she called though I said, "please tell me this is good news or I am hanging up now (I had already had a rough start to my day)."

She said, "well it's not good news, it is GREAT news." 

The tears just poured down my face, and I couldn't believe it. My co-worker was the only person I had talked to about our latest transfer. My husband and I decided to tell a white lie to our family and friends. We had told them we had just started the process of IVF again when in actuality we were ahead in the process waiting for the results.

We wanted to take some pressure off of ourselves, but also be able to surprise everyone when the opportunity arose. I just remember running into my friend's (co-worker) classroom (thank god we were on our lunch break) and she knew by my face I had gotten positive results. We just hugged tightly and cried for a long time!

My husband called me at the end of the day, and I was still crying but I played it off like I was upset, and that the call was bad news. I wanted him to come home and be surprised.

I had always dreamed of him coming home to a pregnancy test to see his reaction. I knew he was going to be the best father in the world, and after all we had been through, he deserved that little element of surprise and happiness!

When he walked in from work he was very hesitant because of our phone call earlier. But he was greeted at the door by our two dogs with the announcement written on paper hanging from their necks (it was too early to show up on a pregnancy test). We hugged, kissed, and cried.

It was a beautiful moment after 3 long years!!

Dr. Kiltz, Dr. Corley, Dr. Luthringer and all of the nurses and staff were so amazing. I really and truly could never find the perfect words to describe our journey with them or how blessed, and forever grateful for everything they had done for us. They are not just some medical staff- they make you feel like family and are there for you physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I think every time I saw/talked to Dr. Kiltz I mentioned they should add an OBGYN department. I just never wanted to leave there! They were wonderful and gave my husband and me the greatest gift we could have ever dreamed of having!

Our daughter was born on December 1, 2019, after exactly 24 hours of labor and an unplanned c-section. Her name is Arianna Jae Duffy, she is the light of our lives. There is something so special about her. She is our miracle baby and we can't get enough of her sweet and sassy personality!

My husband and I would like to say thank you again to CNY, for everything and for giving us our beautiful baby girl!

Photography Credit: The Wonderful Sheena Christ

www.TorrentPhotography.com

Facebook.com/Torrentphotography

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Dr. Kiltz, Dr. Corley, Dr. Luthringer, NPs: Grace Michael, and Kelly Testa and so many more! Also a special shout out to nurse Ashley Carter, she assisted with all of my IVF transfers-she is a remarkable woman- so sweet, kind and just a genuine caring soul!

Helpful resources Kayla & Josh found:

Acupuncture, massages, journaling.

Unique Moments:

The whole process is such a whirlwind of emotions. Lows were negative result after negative result. But the highs were different- and what I found unique about our situation is that my husband and I never gave up on each other.

Whenever I would see another person going through this journey, or read articles, stories, books about infertility, partners ended up resenting one another, divorcing, splitting up, etc. The exact opposite happened with my husband and I. We became closer than ever. We were each other's constant support.

Mainly my husband though, he was amazing, he was my rock. There was a time when I had told him that I understood if he didn't want to be with me, that he should be with someone who can make him a father-he deserved it more than anyone in the world. He looked at me and said don't take this the wrong way but you are crazy (I blame all the hormones!) if you think I would leave you for someone else.

He always told me baby or no baby we would be okay, or we would figure out another plan.

He always looked at the positive. Even when he was feeling upset, and sad, he really tried to hide it from me. I felt horrible because I knew he was going through the same hardship as I was but he was just amazing. He always put me/ my feelings first and above everything else.

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

Just to make sure you have done every type of infertility check possible such as a laparoscopy to rule out every possible factor.

To try and tune out other's opinions and comments-especially when they say "you gotta stop thinking about it." That is seriously the worst comment someone could say to a person going through any type of infertility treatment!

Lastly, love your partner, do not let this horribly difficult journey tear you apart. Lean on each other and love each other. You have to keep positive, and live your life!