Kole & Kristin

Kole & Kristin's Story:

We started our journey at CNY in 2018 with a consult! We knew that we would need to use IVF to have children, because I am a transgender male and biologically conception was not possible. During our consult with Dr. Corley, we found out that Kristin had PCOS. We were told not to worry, because IVF is the "gold standard". So you could say that we went into this journey thinking it would be a relatively easy and straight forward process. Our first beta was the Monday after Mother's Day in 2019. Of course, like many couples, we tested at home beforehand, on Mother's Day..it was negative. Even though it is said "you're not out until you're out" we knew that our first transfer hadn't worked. Our second transfer was the next month, June of 2019. This month we had the heartbreaking news that it failed again, this time the day before Kristin's birthday. This repeated again through a July cycle, and we were devastated. We decided to take a break, and salvage what was left of our summer, not giving it all up to infertility. When Summer turned into Fall, we were hesitant to begin another cycle. We thought, "there had to be something more going on". After talking to a few other CNY patients, we decided to pursue testing with specialist in Michigan for Immunological Disorders. After a day trip from NY to Michigan, and weeks of sending special labs to Rosalind Franklin University in Chicago, we found out that Kristin had high Natural Killer Cells, and Elevated Cytokines. We went through months of trials with different doses of medications (prednisone, tacrolimus, etc) to see what it would take to regulate her levels. After all Fall and Winter without much success, we reached out to Dr. Kiltz for his advice. We felt stupid, thinking that another doctor could have helped of our situation, however we were thankful to have answers as to why our transfers were failing. Dr. Kiltz, however, had the answers that we needed for TREATMENT, which we weren't getting anywhere else. He suggested Kristin take Neupogen, Plaquenil, and Lovenox. Hopeful, we transferred again in March 2020. And once again...a negative test. At this point, we only had two embryos left and we figured that we would go right for another transfer, it was our only option next to another retrieval. Finally, on April 24th 2020, we transferred what were our FINAL two embryos. They were "so so" day 3's, and I honestly didn't think we had a chance with them. I remember a conversation with Dr. Corley months prior, though, where he said "You do have a chance with your remaining embryos. I'm confident one will work". 8 days later, we were in the Adirondacks for the weekend, and my wife took a pregnancy test. She had gone back to bed afterward, so I figured it must have been negative. I went in to check on her, looked at the test, and said "IT WORKED! WE'RE PREGNANT!". She rolled over, and said "no we're not, there's no line..I'm sorry". I turned on the light, and showed her the very, very faint line. She smiled and said "I swear it wasn't there when I looked!". From that day on she probably took 12 other tests, all the way through our 3rd beta. We are now expecting our CNY Miracle in January 2021. We can't thank CNY enough, and Dr. Kiltz, for making this possible for us.

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Everyone at the Rochester office has been phenomenal to us from day 1. But we are especially grateful for Ashleigh. She treated us with kindness, and grace, each visit. She never got annoyed with me for asking so many questions, and that means the world to a couple struggling with a beast so big.

Helpful resources Kole & Kristin found:

We utilized the CNY Fertility Facebook Support page a lot!!!!!!!!!!! It was so helpful to talk to others who shared our journey.

Unique Moments:

We truly thought that IVF would be a relatively straightforward route for us, because going into it we weren't aware of the other issues we had to confront. Immune problems are an entirely different beast of their own, and they are nearly impossible to identify without the proper testing. We are forever grateful to Dr. Kiltz though for individualizing our treatment and making this possible.

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

The only advice I have, is to never give up. As hard as this journey can be sometimes, and as impossible as having a family may seem some days, it certainly won't happen if you give up. Also, don't be afraid to advocate for yourself, you know your body better than anyone else, and if something doesn't seem right, or if you are questioning the process, say something.