Monica & Joshua

Monica & Joshua's Story:

My husband and I started off as best friends, and our friendship blossomed into something more. We connected a lot because of our shared values in life. We both knew we wanted to have children, just with the 'right person.' When we started dating in 2018, we knew we were it for each other, and if God wanted to give us a kid, we were all for it. We moved down to Tennessee from Ohio to start our family together.

After we got married in October 2019, we started to actually try to conceive by watching my ovulation schedule. After what felt like forever and having no success, we decided to reach out to the doctors and get some testing done to see what was going on.

I had some endometriosis, so I had laparoscopic surgery to clear it all up and make sure that it didn't hinder our chances of getting pregnant. Then, after four failed IUI's and more testing, we found the root of the issue.

We found out that my husband's sperm didn't have any motility. This meant that the quality of his sperm was fine, but they would never be able to make it to my eggs without more assistance.

After the IUI's failed, we knew IVF was our only option, but as a newlywed couple in a new state with no support, we didn't know how we were going to afford IVF. I tried multiple grants but was never chosen. At one point, I was working three jobs to try to get some money saved to be able to even think about starting IVF, until I found out about CNY.

CNY was amazing! From Tennessee, I could have my monitoring, lab work, and virtual visits without any issues. We went to Buffalo, NY for our egg retrieval and got four embryos!

We were so excited; we had four little miracle embryo babies!

Our first IVF (fresh) transfer was in March 2021, and it wasn't successful. To say we were sad was an understatement. I was so dejected, but after how far we had come, I could NOT stop trying now.

My husband wanted to give my body some time off to rest, but I pleaded with him to let me try again ASAP. He agreed, and we used two (frozen) embryos on April 27th, 2022. One stuck, and we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl on December 30, 2022.

Our Lillian Jade is almost one now, and it has me reflecting on how much we went through to have her and how grateful I am to CNY for helping to give me the greatest gift of my life. She is my everything, my reason to get up each day, and she would have never been possible without my husband or the help of CNY.

So, after THOUSANDS of shed tears, hundreds of needles, 4 IUIs, and 2 IVF cycles, we have ourselves a beautiful, healthy, smart, perfect baby girl.

Thank you, CNY, for being with us through the hardest and best parts of our journey. Now that our miracle baby is almost one, we want to give her a little sibling, but just can't find the financial means to do so yet. As soon as we do, I know CNY will be the first number I dial!

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Whenever I called or went to Buffalo, it was always a new face or someone different. There were so many people that worked at CNY who helped us along the way.

The Moment:

I knew I wanted to surprise my husband with the news. I remember having only 3 pregnancy tests left. I used the cheaper pregnancy test first because I heard it showed the lowest levels of HCG. It showed positive and I just sat there, on the bathroom floor with tears streaming down my face.

It hadn't truly hit me. I didn't believe it. I tested the other cheap test and then used a digital test and both said positive. I jumped in the car and went to Walmart and tested seven more times, just to be 100% sure that it wasn't a false positive. It wasn't. I was pregnant, and the HCG levels in my bloodwork confirmed it.

I surprised my husband with a beer called "Dad" from one of his favorite brewing companies, and he asked, "What is this for?" I told him, "Your'e going to be a dad." We both had tears in our eyes--tears of joy. We embraced each other for five minutes as it set in that after EVERYTHING, we were finally getting our miracle.

Hope, Inspiration and Advice:

DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED if you don't get many eggs at your retrieval, or if you don't get many embryos, or if IVF doesn't work the first time around. Everyone's story is different, including yours. You might get blessed with tons of eggs and embryos and get your miracle baby the first transfer, or you could be like someone in my support group who took 13 tries until they got their baby.

You are allowed to be sad, but then you have to find your strength and keep trying. You ARE MEANT to be a mom, it is just a matter of how and when.

Also, find a support group. Even if it is just on Facebook, and even if all you do is read other people's conversations, it will still help. It feels good to connect with people who know exactly what you're going through. I have no idea who that woman was in my support group who said she did IVF 13 times to get her baby, but she gave me inspiration to never give up, and I wouldn't have had that confidence had it not been for her and many others in those support groups.

Also, it's okay to not be okay. Infertility is not both physically and emotionally challenging. You can take days off to be sad, but you have to remember to get back up and keep fighting for that baby.