Sarah & Ben

Sarah & Ben's Story:

The story of what led us to CNY is a bit different than most. I knew from a very young age, maybe 5 years old, that I wanted more than anything to be a mom. I was diagnosed with pretty severe PCOS by my former OB-GYN when I was about 19 years old. He prematurely told me that it would be impossible for me to ever have children. I lived most of my adult life thinking this was my fate.

My husband & I married in 2017--we were planning on starting infertility treatments with my new OB-GYN when we returned from our honeymoon. Before we could even begin we found out we were inexplicably pregnant with our son! Our OB-GYN was shocked, but not as shocked as we were. We couldn’t wait to meet the answer to a decade worth of prayers.  Due to my severe preeclampsia, I had to deliver almost three weeks early. On the morning of my scheduled C-Section, my beloved Gramma passed away; five hours later our beautiful son came into this world healthy and gorgeous despite the peculiarity surrounding his conception and birth.

We knew we wanted more children and we knew it wasn't going to be as easy as it was the first time. We once again sought to help of our OB-GYN in November of 2018. We tried Clomid and then Letrozole. It didn't seem like it was working after two rounds so I made an appointment with CNY Fertility in Syracuse. I met with Meg and we decided ovarian drilling would probably be beneficial for my particular situation. Given there was still a small chance I could have been pregnant from a Letrozole round, we didn't scheduled anything. A week later we found out we were indeed pregnant!

My first scan showed I was pregnant with twins! However excitement quickly turned to sadness. Our one twin never developed past a yolk sac and fetal pole, and our second twin was measuring significantly behind the gestational age but he did have a heartbeat. When we went to check a week later our sweet, strong baby no longer had a heartbeat. We were devastated but knew we couldn't give up. Once my body healed from the loss of our twins, we tried again. In August of 2019 I found out I was pregnant again, without any meds or intervention! We thought "this is too good to be true" and indeed it was. My HCG was rising minimally and at 6 weeks we lost another beautiful angel. We knew it was time to dig deeper into the reoccurring miscarriages and reach out to CNY again.

My husband and I each underwent significant bloodwork screenings. I had a dye test done and then a hysteroscopy to remove an adhesion in my uterus. We began intralipid infusions with full immune protocol. We tried Letrozole with timed intercourse and several IUIs with Letrozole and then Menopur. My progesterone had been incredibly low so we added Progesterone in oil injections and Lovenox to cover all our bases. We were at our wits end, negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test, failed IUI after failed IUI. It was advised that we try an exploratory laporscopic surgery with ovarian drilling. As a mom of a two year old I was incredibly apprehensive about going under the knife. I didn’t want to give up though. I had three babies in heaven that I needed to honor by not giving up. With fear in my heart I scheduled the procedure and then Covid hit. Everything came to a screeching halt and I felt lost. The first time in over a year it felt like that tiny bit of hope for a baby was gone.

Shortly after my surgery was canceled we received a call saying NYS was allowing fertility procedures due to their necessity— we were back on! In April 2020 while the world was locked down and low on hope, Dr. Luthringer performed my ovarian drilling and my hope had been restored. The surgery went very well. Once we were given the “okay” we tried timed intercourse in hopes of conceiving our rainbow baby. The world was still locked down and we were doing what we could remotely with CNY, even though we only lived an hour away. After the surgery it appeared I was ovulating without any help from medication and after two attempts at timed intercourse we received the phone call saying we were finally pregnant!

No one talks about how hard pregnancy after loss is. I would go weekly to CNY for growth scans, bloodwork, and infusions just waiting for the hammer to fall and my world to fall apart yet again. We had a pregnancy journal and I remember saying to my husband at week 8, I don’t see us making it to the end of the book—I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every week I went for a scan and saw a healthy, growing baby. I would then fill out a page of the journal thinking it could be my last. As I wrote on the 37 week page, before we left to give birth to our beautiful boy, I still didn’t see the light. On February 26th, 2021, at 37 weeks gestation, we gave birth to our beautiful rainbow baby—David Amedeo. As I held this perfect child in my arms, I finally saw the light I had been searching for so desperately.

Somewhere along the way I forgot how many pills I had taken, how many injections I was given, how many tears I cried—the difficulty of the journey has almost faded away into a life that seems like I lived decades ago even though it was just last year. CNY Fertility made a very difficult journey easier for us. While nothing will ever fill in the cracks I have in my heart from the loss of our three babies, the kindness, support and success CNY provided us helps make those cracks a little smaller and a little less painful. I live my life with a grateful heart knowing my two boys are my miracles, and an answer to my countless prayers.

📸 credit: Sarah Lawrence Photography

Favorite Team Member at CNY:

Having suffered several losses I required a lot of reassurance. The nurses were so patient with me every single appointment. Toward the end Jess was "my nurse"--we built a great relationship and I knew when I was going in for my weekly growth scans she would answer my million questions with patience and understanding.